Confessions of a Procrastinator

A treasure from the WINK archives by Kathryn Holmes

Image by DreamStudio

Note: Kathryn (Kathi to those who knew her) spoke only a few weeks ago when she gave permission for me to reprint this essay. She will be deeply missed, but in remembrance, please enjoy this taste of her wit and humor.

Confessions of a Procrastinator

By Kathryn Holmes

I always found procrastinators frustrating. “Make a decision!” “Just do it!” Then one day I realized I was one!

     Hi, my name is Kathi, and I’m a procrastinator.

     I have four major projects on my to-do list and a few smaller ones that are constant reminders of jobs undone. The weightiest ones have been on the list for two to ten years. I have now come to the point where I have exhausted all my creativity in finding excuses for not tackling them. They sit stagnant on my to-do list.

     It’s not just the big things that I procrastinate about. A few months ago I bought a new car. It wasn’t until it rained that I decided to pull out the manual and figure out how to work the back and front windshield wipers. Last weekend, I had occasion to drive at night—which I don’t often do. I took a dark, relatively vacant highway about 100 miles west of the city. The clouds covered any reflection from the moon. I kept squinting to see the lane lines. I fussed around with the left-hand stick and got a little sun image on my dashboard. I thought that meant the bright lights were on, but I felt I had to use them to see. Fumbling around with the light shift, I found the bright lights. I was halfway to my destination when I realized I had been driving with only my parking lights on. I’m thinking I should read the manual. When my husband gets a gadget in the mail, he immediately looks for the instructions and reads them. But I don’t have time to read the whole car manual. I’m busy reading my next book.

     The project residing the longest on my to-do list is my photos. It doesn’t help that I inherited my mother’s photos when she passed away. I attempted to arrange them about five years ago. Then life got in the way. I needed the dining room table for company. Spring was coming and I wanted to be outside, not working on projects that kept me inside. Another winter passed. Then another. I can’t start until I’m ready to make an impact on the job. In the meantime, another winter is stealing away.

     Last year, I ordered recipe-storing software. I was anxious to save my recipes when I switched to a new computer. I printed out the software directions and found the information I needed. I’ve entered my favorite recipes, but I still have dozens more to enter. As long as I have my favorites, there doesn’t seem to be a rush.

     After writing three books I decided my next writing challenge would be a novel. I spent two years thinking of a plot. One day, an idea hit me. The story has kept the novel writing idea alive. But writing a novel is a big task. So I decided to get some writing software to help me coordinate this project. The software has more features than I will ever need. Delving into it seemed overwhelming. Where do I start? I’ve been told the tutorial takes about two to three hours to go through it. I have not found the time to allocate to this project between walking the dog, going to lunch, and exercising at the pool.

     Yes, Nolan Bushnell, I know that “The ultimate inspiration is the deadline.” But I have no deadlines. I’m retired. I have the time to do whatever I want, and it seems I want to sit in my recliner with the dog on my lap, reading one book after the other. Maybe I’ll give myself an arbitrary deadline. And if I don’t meet the deadline, I’ll move it out further… Thanks to my computer, I can always cut and paste if I get distracted.

     “The more that you read, the more things you know. The more you learn, the more places you’ll go!” Thank you, Dr. Seuss, for giving me another excuse to procrastinate!

Kathi Holmes is a native Minnesotan who has published several books. Since retirement, she has kept busy reading, writing short stories, supporting other authors by submitting stories, self-publishing, and marketing. Thanks to her procrastination, she has many reasons to wake up every morning and delve into a project.